Too Cute or Too Guilty?

Dear Tabby:

Please solve this ethical dilemma for me. I am an extremely cute and energetic miniature poodle, and my parents leave me at home alone for some time during the day.

Today my mom came home while I had my head in the garbage can and accused me of eating garbage! I leaped backwards out of the can with the swinging lid banging against my cute little face, and stared her down. "Who me?" I was thinking. Her response was this: "I saw your hindquarters and legs wagging in the air, so I know it was you down there."

I feel she is not entitled to blame me, since she did not see my face attached to any garbage.

What do you think, Dear Tabby?

Sincerely,

Too Cute 

Dear "Too Cute:"

I must admit that little alarms go off in my head whenever a pet refers to himself as "too cute." Could it be that you have relied on your good looks for a little too long, my friend? I say, don't use that cuteness as a crutch. Sure, it's easy to put on that puppy dog face and reduce dozens of humans to mush with one glance, but I think you're better than that, Too Cute.

And come on, we both know you were in that garbage. Face the music, Too Cute, and get yourself a different name while you're at it.

Purrfectly yours--

Tabby D. Cat

This letter was sent to me by Carol Grannick. Interestingly enough, Carol really is Too Cute. What's even more interesting is that we both share a love of giving advice to others. For more information about writer and therapist Carol Grannick, go to http://theirrepressiblewriter.com/about-carol-grannick/.

Pooped Party Pug

Dear Tabby,

I am a 14 year old pug and up until now I was not crazy about cats. You have changed my mind with your wit and charm. Do you think we could set up a play date? 

The photo was taken of me after I ate too much cake and ice cream at a birthday party. I needed a nap. 

Your friend,

Annie the Pug

Dear Annie:

I am all for Peace Between The Species! Yes, let's definitely meet! I will refrain from bringing cake and ice cream. How do you feel about sardines?

By the way, I, too, am very fond of napping. I think that humans should nap more and text less. I might even put that on a t-shirt some day.

Have you ever met Emerson, Carolyn Crimi's pug? He is also a Most Excellent Napper. In fact that's his job title.

Purrfectly yours--

Tabby D. Cat

If you'd like to read more about Annie the Pug and her fabulous owner, Author April Young Fritz, go to www.aprilyoungfritz.com.

Podcast with Katie Davis!

Carolyn Crimi did an interview with Katie Davis and of course she mentioned MOI, Tabby D. Cat! If you'd like to learn more about my book Dear Tabby, go to Episode 48 on Katie's Blog:

http://katiedavis.com/blog/category/podcast/

It's the cat's pajamas!

Letters from Goldfish are so tasty!

I received this fascinating letter from Gilbert Goldfish today. His book is landing in bookstores this week! Meow! If you'd like to find out more about Gilbert and his tale of woe, visit the fabulous Kelly DiPucchio's website, www.kellydipucchio.com. 

Dear Tabby,

I am a little fish with a big problem. I have everything a goldfish could ever want or need, except a pet of my own.   

I noticed that you sign all of your letters “Purrfectly yours”.  Will you be purrfectly mine?

Sincerely,

Gilbert Goldfish

PS…I do not have any table scraps to include with this letter, but I'm sending you plenty of tasty dry flakes.

PSS…I live in a castle. I think you would like it here.

Dear Gilbert:

I have never received a letter from a goldfish before. I'm just curious, would you say that goldfish are like sardines? You know, salty and slightly fishy but also a bit...tender? 

And these flakes you've sent. Would you say they could also be used as seasoning? Perhaps sprinkled on a very small fish and then lightly sauteed in a bit of extra virgin olive oil?

It all sounds very interesting. I'd love to come to your castle right away. Please put out the drawbridge.

Purrfectly yours--

Tabby D. Cat

What is Dori Chaconas's Cat up to?

Dori Chaconas, as many of you are aware, is a very famous children's book author. Her cat, Baccus the Catcus, is not as famous. But I'm sure that's not for long.  To read more about Dori and her books, go to:

http://www.dorichaconas.com/

Her books are Fabtastic, friends!

And now, on to her cat's letter:

Dear Tabby:

I think I must have been born upside down because that's the way I prefer to see the world. My human thinks it's unnatural for me to live my life with my feet up in the air and the dog barks at me when I'm on my back. (He doesn't know how stupid he looks upside down and I'm not going to tell him.) The world is beautiful when the sky is on the bottom and the grass is on the top. Do you think I have a problem, or do you think it's  the rest of the world that has the problem?

Sincerely,

Baccus the Catcus



Dear Baccus the Catcus:

What a lovely, poetic letter! I am thinking that you are the kind of feline who marches to a different drummer, preferably to a song like "Stray Cat Strut." (Do you know that song by the Stray Cats? It's my theme song, along with "I Feel Pretty.")

Lucky me, you have already answered your own question within your letter. Of course it's the rest of the world's problem! Hey, and don't let them forget that messy litter boxes, huge cat hair tumbleweeds and claw marks on furniture are also their problems. They are extremely lucky to live with us. Don't you ever let them forget it!

Purrfectly yours--

Tabby D. Cat

Student letters!

The letters have been pouring in! I can barely keep up! There was even a voicemail from a Mystery Caller. Hmmmm...

I will continue with more Letters From Famous Authors and Their Pets, but first let's hear from a few fifth grade students at Whittier. They did such a fantastic job! What I love most about their letters is that they provided their own answers to their problems. All I have to do is post them! Purrfect for a somewhat lazy kitty like moi.

Here is a correspondence between Tabby and Roger The Mole:

Dear Tabby:

Hi I'm Roger the mole and I got a problem. You see, every morning I wake up and it's dark, so I go outside and it's light so I go inside and it's dark so I go outside and it's light so I go inside and it's dark! I do this all day untill I go to bed, then I wake up and do it all over again! My friends laugh at me. To think a mole hates the dark. I would like the light but it hurts my eyes. Is there a place not too light but not too dark? Please help me!

Sincerely,

Roger the mole

P.S. Do you think I'm strange?

Dear Roger the mole

I don't think your strange I think your crazy. You go in and out, in and out. I did that before but not with light. I think you should live in a park, not i the light.

perrrrrfectly yours

Tabby D. Cat

Letter from Lisa Wheeler's Dog Cricket

Dear Tabby,

Ever since I was a pup I heard that Border Collies are supposed to be the smartest breed of dog. Even my owners are buying into this nonsense! They expect me to perform complicated tricks, like jumping through hoops, walking on my back legs, and balancing the checkbook. I haven't even mastered fetch-the-stick. It's too much pressure!

I am not super-smart. I like to eat, sleep and scratch. I am happy to be a dog without a degree. How can I get my owners to lower their expectations when the world wants to stereotype me?

Your underachieving friend,

Cricket

Dear Underachieving Cricket,

I hear you my nap-loving, snack-loving, scratch-loving friend! The world expects me to be witty, wise, wonderful and perfect 100% of the time, when really I am only witty, wise, wonderful and perfect 99.999% of the time. With greatness comes this challenge.

But here is a secret, dear Cricket--their expectations are their problem, not yours! I say, revel in your underachievement! Toss aside all those human aspirations and just keep doing what you enjoy. And really, isn't "fetch-the-stick" completely overrated anyway? Why bring the stick back? What is the purpose of that? Just so that it can be tossed again? I suspect that humans came up with that "game."

I think, Cricket, that judging by this letter you are actually a lot smarter than you think you are. 

By the way, the rug I see in the background looks a lot like the rug Carolyn Crimi has in her living room! Is it from Pottery Barn?

Purrfectly yours,

Tabby D. Cat

FYI---If you'd like to read more about the award winning author Lisa Wheeler and see more pictures of her fantabulous dog Cricket, go to her website:

www.lisawheelerbooks.com

Rat Chat Review!

I happen to love these two rats. Yes, I am a cat, but cat rhymes with rat, and I like that. Read on:

http://www.ratchatreviews.com/

Be sure to check out their video! They sing a mean "Happiness" from You're A Good Man Charlie Brown. (Interesting factoid: Carolyn Crimi sang that song in highschool when she played Snoopy.)

Tune in next week for a letter from Lisa Wheeler's dog, Cricket. And for those of you who don't know Lisa Wheeler (there might be three or four of you) read up about this uber famous children's book author here:

www.lisawheelerbooks.com

Happy weekend, Dear Readers!

Book Trailer!

In case you're interested in reading the advice I've given to the animals in Critterville...

Allergy season!

Dear Tabby,

My cat, Reba (named after my Grandmother, who hated cats), has a funny habit that mystifies me. Whenever I sneeze, she meows real loud. And it's not a sweet meow, more like a "Hey, cut out the racket!" meow.  If I try a fake sneeze she doesn't react at all. What do you think she's trying to say?

Attached is a photo of Reba, on the left. The other cat is Scooter, who doesn't care about my sneezes, or anything else.

- Tom L.

Dear Tom L.

First of all, welcome to my blog! Dear Readers, Tom L. is the super-famous children's book author and illustrator Tom Lichtenheld. You can read all about him here:

www.tomlichtenheld.com

I must say, Tom L., that I am fascinated by the fact that you are spending time fake sneezing for your cat and waiting for said cat to respond. I hope you are not neglecting your deadlines in favor of pursuing this rather odd activity. 

My suggestion to you is to start taking some allergy medication for that sneeze of yours. I imagine Reba is terrifically annoyed by it. And of course she knows when you're faking a sneeze. She is, after all, a cat. I'm sure she also knows that the treat you put in her carrying case when it's time to go to the vet is just a trick.

Purrfectly yours--

Tabby D. Cat

We have a winner!!

Congrats to Whittier School in Oak Park for getting their Dear Tabby letters to me first! A new copy of Dear Tabby will be shipped off to them tomorrow. I'll also be posting their letters here next week, so stay tuned! What I particularly loved about their letters is that they sent their own responses. I love it when students make my job easier!

If you didn't win this time around, don't worry. I'll be giving out more free copies of Dear Tabby in the next few weeks, but you have to send in your letters first. 

Hop to it, dear students!

Scaredy Cat

Poor little kitten. Let this be a good lesson to you, dear students. Sometimes your biggest fears are nothing but a dumb old tennis ball!

Stay tuned for next week's letters!  I have some very interesting letters from famous children's book authors that I'm sure you'll enjoy.

Contest!!

What kind of blog would this be if it didn't have a contest?

And yes, this contest is for a signed copy of my book Dear Tabby and is open to elementary schools everywhere! The first school to send me a package filled with Dear Tabby letters, drawings or photographs will receive a personalized Dear Tabby book with a few little extras tossed in for fun!

In the meantime I will be lounging in that special sunny spot by the front door awaiting your package. But please don't waste your money on Fed Ex. (The Fed Ex guy tries to trick me with cat treats but I know deep down inside he is a dog lover.) The good old post office is plenty fast enough.

And who am I kidding? I'm sure there will also be a second and third place prize. I cannot resist giving things away. I am a most generous, kind and thoughtful cat. Not to mention  gorgeous.

Happy writing, dear students! 

Purrfectly yours--

Tabby D. Cat

Simon's Cat

I am quite a fan of Simon's Cat and I hope that now you will be, too.

Copycat

Dear Sierra:

I had the same problem once with a rabid raccoon. He followed me around morning, noon and night, baring his teeth at me and snarling. Ugh. It was so embarrassing. I think, though, that the raccoon's motives were a little different than your brother's. I'm assuming your little brother doesn't want to eat you, right? In that case you should take your brother's actions for what they are--supreme flattery!

Purrfectly yours--

Tabby D. Cat

Rise and Shine!

Dear Tabby:

I need help with waking up in the morning.

Sincerely, 

Harry

Dear Harry:

You and me both! I find that the sound of the electric can opener my owner uses to open up my cat food really helps me with my get up and go! Or the sound of a tiny bird chirping right outside my window. Or a small mouse skittering around on the floor. Or...well, you get the idea. See if these things help you.

But don't think I didn't notice that big grin on your face in the picture, Mister. Just who is this a problem for--you or the person in charge of waking you up every day?

Purrfectly yours--

Tabby D. Cat

Bored Dogs

Dear Tabby: 

My dog is always very bored. What should I do?

Your friend, Gerda

Dear Gerda:

I decided to post your wonderful picture because I think it holds the answer. Why don't you dress up for your dog like you are in the picture? I know dogs aren't especially fond of being dressed up themselves, so it might be fun if the tables were turned for once. If you're lucky your dog might even give you a treat afterward.

Think about it.

Purrfectly yours,

Tabby D. Cat

A Sad Fan :-(

Dear Tabby:

I am a huge Cubs fan and the Cubs haven't won a woald serious since a long time.

Sincerely,

Jack

Dear Jack, 

While I admit that I'm probably the most wise, clever, insightful, smart, and modest cat on the face of the planet-- not even I  can help the poor Cubs. You will just have to do what fans have done for decades--cheer anyway and hope for the best. Sometimes I even like to rub  tuna fish behind my ear for luck. (Okay, so it may not be especially lucky, but it does come in handy as an afternoon snack.)

Purrfectly yours--

Tabby D. Cat

Week One!

The students at The Hillcrest School were kind enough to be the first ones to write to me, Tabby D. Cat. I'll post a few this week. I think you'll agree these are thought-provoking letters!

Dear Tabby: My fish are very slow. How do I make them go faster? Your friend-- Grace

Dear Grace: Hmmm...just how slow are they? Are they slow enough that the average alley cat could possibly catch one with her paw with one fell swoop? And how many of them are there? Would you say there are enough for a snack for an average alley cat, or are there enough for a meal? Are they nice and fat? I'd say that the best way to speed your fish up is to let a certain alley cat into the room with them. That will wake ‘em up! Purrfectly yours-- Tabby D. Cat